Following on from this post about a radical game of pool I invented, I thought it would be fitting to let people know what actually happened to our dear friend Mr Seven Ball.

First let me start with some background information. Mr Seven Ball was a quiet individual – in fact, he never really spoke at all. He was rather round in appearance, and despite his name and contrary to popular belief, did not have an abnormal number of testicles.

I could beat around the bush and make up all sorts of excuses like: Mr Seven Ball was left out of the game because he was of indeterminate colour and to make it appear that we were not a racist organisation, Mr Eight Ball was used instead.

Alternatively, I could also make up some more garbage like: Mr Seven Ball was on a business trip doing some PR work and Mr Eight Ball stepped in and kindly offered to take his place.

I could make up countless stories write paragraphs of total rubbish that you would never believe, so I shall save us all time and tell the truth. This is the real reason Mr Seven Ball was not present at the game:

He was kidnapped by a terrorist organisation and held to ransom for extortionate sums of money. We refused to give in to their demands to see how far they would go, and it resulted in Mr Seven Ball being packaged into a small wooden crate filled with smoked salmon, shipped off to southern America and put to work as a slave by an international drug baron. He was then tortured and forced to perform unsavoury acts before we were able to locate him and come to his rescue. It was during his absence that the game was played and hence he was unavailable.

I absolutely and positively did not totally forget that the Seven Ball existed and used the eight ball for the game because it looked cooler. Honest. =/